Saturday, I had the opportunity to go to a kind of a party to celebrate the life of someone that was dear to a group of people who I happen to help bring into the church. I had a suspicion that the group were Catholics who don=t exactly practice their faith so I wanted to go and see what the Lord would ask me to do.

        Sure enough the people that were there began to ask questions as if this was the guide for their life. What do you think of the Divinci Code? As if I was supposed to support it as the way to follow Jesus. Then other things as well. I thought it fit Sunday=s gospel so well, are you the one who is to come or should we look for another? They=re still looking for another.

        It=s possible that we could do this because the second degree of humility says that we have to put ourselves aside. We know that the biggest obstacle in the spiritual life is ourselves. So the real issue is where is our will? We train our intellects, and we are told that we have to handle our emotions because we live in a very psychological climate, but we need to train our will.

        God of the universe is so humble he has to come begging that we would do his will. The real heart of the question is do we have the will to love Jesus? It is at the key question. Not to do his will means that already there can=t be a relationship and there certainly can=t be intimacy.

        The question of obedience in the Rule, although it=s all over the place but especially strong in Chapter 5 and in the second and third degree of humility, is still a central issue all our life because it=s not enough simply to avoid sin. It=s a question of how are you growing near the Lord? How is the Lord drawing near to you? The two go together. You can remain very far away from the Lord if you are in your head and more interested in ideas or pursuing things according to your will and not the will of God.

        There are a number of things that we could look at. When I was novice master I would give the novices a day to do something especially if I had some insight about their difficulties. So it wouldn=t hurt to have a day in which you get up in the morning and you say, AToday=s the day of doing the will of Jesus.@ Go test it out. How do you really do this all day long? Don=t put yourself down or get frustrated if you don=t do it because it=s a grace to see where we=re not going and God wants to correct those things so he will give you grace if you ask for it.

        What are some of the things you want to start looking at? How pure is your motive to do the will of God? I could have gone to the party because I knew wine was going to be there and I like Merlot but I didn=t go for that reason, but I could have. Or they had some calamari, it was good, very tasty. So how pure is your motive of really loving Jesus? Of wanting to do his will. Another one is how firm is it? What happens when things get rough or difficult. Do you start thinking of greener pastures? Or do you start looking for comfort? Or do you start doing something else? How firm is your will to love Jesus to do his will? How faithful? When it comes to feeling lonely today, what do you do with that loneliness? Is it the occasion for you to be unfaithful to Jesus? Or how generous are you to do God=s will?

        We all know the famous statement in the monastery Athat=s not my job.@ It may not be your job but it=s what Jesus wants you to do at that moment. Maybe you are neglecting those opportunities. What about the fact that Jesus wants everything. The whole point of coming to the monastery is union with God in Jesus through the Spirit. Therefore he=s going to ask for everything. All the time, everywhere, seven days a week. Since we are limited human freedoms it=s ok because we can grow and as we grow in love we can love more. What=s the quality of that doing of God=s will? Is it loving? Do we really give ourselves away? Or do we do it just as kind of a duty? Well, I=ve got to go to Office, I=ve got to pray, so I do it. But I=m really not participating and give myself to it.

        If we look at those qualities and really try this a couple of days at the end of the day just write up what you discovered and those are the things that maybe would be a good idea to take to confession and be a good preparation for Christmas and the Christmas season. Because after all the Christmas season deals with the question. God has come near us and it=s in our will and the openness of our will that the nearness happens. So we need to practice and reflect and also come to real choice to want to love the Lord with our whole being.

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