Everyone of us knows what it means to go to a party. We like good food, good company, and if we have music it is all the better, and when we leave, we feel really enriched. That is, if we really meet someone. If we go to the party and the food is good, and the music is good, but we never meet anybody, then we feel lonely in the crowd. We don=t need theology or big degrees to figure this out. It is within the ordinary experience of any human being. So we crave for relationship, for communion, and for friendship.

        The best friend we have is Jesus. He offers this friendship freely. The question is, are we open to it? First of all, His friendship is not superficial. It is deep. Deep does not mean some kind of esoteric thing. It means that He touches us and deals with us in areas that most people don=t deal with us, but rather, others abandon us and ignore us; or worse, they use and manipulate us.

        Let=s take the example of the night when Jesus leaves us at the Last Supper. Jesus says, AMy peace I give you.@ What is this peace? It is not like the world gives peace. We know how the world gives peace: stay away from wars, stay away from violence, etc. That=s not peace for Jesus. Peace with Jesus is to be reconciled with God the Father. To have a peace that is deep; peace that is lasting, and solid, and can be counted on and rested in. Jesus= friendship is deep. Jesus= friendship is genuine. It means it is real. It is not phony, or partial; and therefore, when you tune into His friendship you become real. Jesus= friendship is loyal. Jesus is faithful to us all the time. Even when we=re not faithful to Him, He is faithful to us. His faithfulness is not passive, waiting for us to see what we are going to do next. No, it is active faithfulness. He nudges and graces us to be open to His loyalty.

        Finally, Jesus= friendship is total. It is total in His gift of Himself. He doesn=t give half of His self. He gives His whole self to us. The manifestation of this is rather clear in the Eucharist where He gives us His Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity; His total self.

        One of the things we want to look at when we talk about the need to look at our changes is how do we relate to Jesus as friend? Do you realize first and foremost that you need to change your relationship with Jesus in terms of choice. There is no relationship on the personal level without choice. Do you choose to be a friend of Jesus? If the answer is no, or you let it aside, then obviously you need to change. If the answer is yes, but it=s kind of partial and not too persevering, then you still need to change. If the answer is yes, I am walking with Jesus, but I don=t really want to have Him come too close to me because He may ask for everything, then you need to change.

        Choice first, then, as you love people so you love Jesus. Therefore, you need to look at your personal relationships. Who do you really encounter in your life? Encounter does not mean confront. Encounter means to really meet persons. Are there real people in your life that you really meet? If the answer is no, then you need to change, because if you don=t meet people that are in your life you=re not going to meet Jesus because Jesus is a person.

        Then you need to look at the quality of that meeting. Is it mutually beneficial? Is it constructive and building each other up? Whenever you=re in touch with reality as it is, you become a better person. When you really meet another person, I don=t care who it is, you=re meeting a beautiful reality, a unique person created by God. You will be enriched. The toughest issue is always - suffering. If you open yourself up to life and to people you will suffer. But it is healthy suffering if you handle it correctly. It is the call to bring Christ to a situation. If you are going to grow - you must suffer. Where is the suffering in your life? How are you handling it?

        On Sunday, I tried to show that there is a relationship between our belief in God and our life. If we have a too namby-pamby type God, then we think that God doesn=t care and we can do anything we want and we will be ok. Of course, it=s not true. But we also have a certain kind of fear of God that really can make us not relate to God properly either. That He is always checking the list and seeing how well we=re doing, and we=re always disappointed in ourselves because we=re always failing. Because we=re sinners. So I look at God as always looking at me with a disappointed face. Really, I am looking at myself in a disappointed way also. That=s not God.

        Friendship with Jesus is deep, genuine, loyal and total. Where are our choices in terms of friendship? Where=s our real encounter with other persons? How about the suffering in our life? Is it constructive, redemptive, transforming?

Back to Abbot's page