In department stores we all know, especially if we= re an experienced shopper, that when they have a sale for any particular goods chances are there= s defections on them. Zippers don= t zip, or buttons don= t button, or there= s some flaw in the material so the net result is that you can= t return it and you don= t get any refunds, no exchanges. You have to take the thing as it is.

So when we deal with ourselves and community it= s the one place in the universe that we have to learn to deal with people as they are. Just take some of your own experiences. Someone that you know, maybe you know very well even love, and you know that there= s a defect in them. Maybe it= s their tongue, it comes with some strong statements. Or maybe it= s temperament, or maybe it= s a passive spirit but the person has a tag on it - I= m flawed! If you want to relate to them you= re going to have to learn to accept them as they are.

One of the illusions that we have is that we think that someplace in this world there= s a community that= s normal, of course, it doesn’t exist. In the movie, I can= t remember the name of it, I think it= s called As Good As It Gets. When Helen Hunt is a struggling over her boyfriend because he= s generous and kind to her and her son but he= s fearful, he= s compulsive, and if you measured rudeness by the square mile he= d be as big as Texas. So in frustration she turns to her mother and says: A I just want a normal boyfriend.@ And the mother says: A Everybody wants one of those. The problem is there isn’t any!@

So we have the tendency, maybe the temptation, to be in the illusion about community and about relationships because we expect people to be normal. That means we also have the opposite side, we resist the truth that they= re not normal. So we cover it up. The net result is we either try to change people or we= re trying to fix them up or we= re relating to them. One of the most difficult things for people is to really see their parents as they are. Most people say they were fine. But they weren’t fine. They were imperfect like the rest of us.

The temptation is precisely then to come in relationship with the expectation that everything is going to be a certain way, according to my dreams and my ideals. Fortunately God in his grace and truth of things are attacking that. So we are told by Bonhoffer that the Lord in his grace tries to burst that bubble so that we begin to love the community as it is. Of course it means the sooner this happens the better off the individual is and is the community. If you continue to expect the community to be according to your dreams and ideals then you are basically going to be in opposition to it and be destructive because you love your ideal more than you love the concrete community.

So it was Nowven who said: A Community is that place where there= s someone who lives who you would not choose to live with.@ The Lord is going to move us precisely to love everyone because he says not only do we have to love people as they are we have to even love our enemies.